Again... I haven't updated this in forever. I don't know. It's hard for me to stay loyal to a blog when I'm working mad ass shifts.

Anyway, a very close, good friend of mine just passed away because of a growth in his heart.... and the worst part: He never told me about it.
I only knew about it when I dropped by his house last week. His parents were like... "Lila, iz is at the hospital right now."

I thought he got in for a small issue. You know common illness and stuffs. It never occurred to me that he was actually....Anyway, when his parents told me all about his condition, I swear, everything just fell apart right there and then. They brought me over to see him. And the first thing that came to my mind when I was on the way to see him was : "I am so gonna punch the crap out of you Iz!"

But when I saw him laying there. He looked... so fragile. His usually tanned skin is now in off-white pale-ish. He looked like a withering flower, anytime now, he's just gonna bend over and snap in half. I wanted to wake him up. Tell him all my stories. I wanted to.... thank him. I wanted to see his eyes open just one more time. I wanted to hug him. I just wanted him to know I was here.... But instead....I just stood there. I was frozen. I was afraid that if I touched him, he would crumble right there in front of me.

A hard lump got caught in my throat. I don't know. For a moment, nothing went through my mind. I just rushed out of the ward, went to the bathroom, locked myself in the cubicle and cried right there and then. My head was like a huge messy sea of emotions. I was angry. I was sad. I was confused. I was lost. I didn't say anything else to his parents. I just quietly went home after crying.

I know it was wrong. I know I shouldn't have went home. Because Iz passed away the very next day. I didn't get a chance to say thanks. A chance to say goodbye. I didn't say what I wanted to say to him all this while...... I love you, iz.

Sigh...
Life is really fragile.